Maybe you want to ensure that your learners have a nice nap while you are training? Or, perhaps you want to help learners do what they really, really want—that is, have some fun away from the daily grind of work. If so, here are five sure-fire ways to make that happen.

Rule # 1: Don’t think too much about activities or other methods of training that have the danger of involving participants more than necessary. Make slides, and lots of them with lots of text. Of course, then you simply READ from your slides—each and every line that you have painstakingly typed up. Don’t bother to insert graphics; you may—at the most—use some standard clipart. This will definitely draw a few yawns and induce some much-needed shut eye.

Rule # 2: Keep your voice and pitch as monotone as possible. Indeed, whatever you do, don’t modify your tone—lest someone suddenly gets interested. The soporific effect of your voice will be sure to get some folks in the room snoring. It would also help if you look at no one in particular, or look vacantly in the distance as you deliver training.

Rule # 3: Mind your body language. Keep your hands still and body stiff throughout the entire session, and preferably stand in one place to deliver your presentation. Best practice is behind the podium, of course. This will fix you, not just in one place, but also fix you in a state of bliss, where you won’t be bothered by participants. In this unique state, participants also can find their own state of bliss—some can wisely use this time to catch up on a good book they’ve been waiting to read. In fact, if you maintain a stoic aloofness just right, some folks may even open their computers and some “real” work done! In any case, everyone is motivated, right?

Rule # 4: Create an uncomfortable setting. A dull and a dark room with unsuitable seating will allow the learners to engage in whatever they really like doing—anything other than listening to you. Don’t go out of your way to ensure good light, proper seating, decent audio, or engaging technology. If you are not bothered by such little things, there’s no danger of participants paying attention to what you’re saying or showing on the screen.

Rule # 5: Don’t involve the participants in any discussion or seek feedback through questions or interactions with them, as there’s a danger that the participants may get involved more than necessary. Be sure to engage in one-way communication, and don’t bother with whether participants are paying attention or not. Indeed, don’t bother to manage your learners at all. Let them engage in whatever they would rather be doing.

Bottom Line

It goes without saying that you should forget all the pesky issues, such as learning objectives and outcomes, and don’t be bothered too much with obtaining and feedback or evaluation.

These are some very simple rules that will ensure a smooth session for both you and your learners. What’s more, because your session will have a “Learners Do Whatever They Want” quality, word will spread and participants will be greatly motivated to attend more sessions. You may just become one of the most popular trainers in your organization! However, a word of caution: Be prepared for a career change if you find yourself too popular.

Disclaimer: I don’t really mean any of this, of course. Sadly, I see too many fellow L&D professionals following these rules—and wasting precious learning time and effort.