I am, to all intents and purposes, a control freak. But 2013 was my year of learning to let go. I will admit that it was tough. I was successful some of the time, like a mother hen most of the time, and gritting my teeth and trying not to take over things the rest of the time.

What was I learning to let go?

I received a serious dose of life lessons when I decided to move from entrepreneur to employer. My company went from one employee (me) and a team of associates that I directed, to four employees and team that I was leading.

I had to learn that the "Skye Way" aka "Morag's Way" was not the only way. Sometimes hindsight showed that "Morag's Way" was the way and would be the way going forward. At other times, I learned that a new way was a better option. For instance, the company is using technology in ways that I hadn’t done before, and I love that I can access any document from any device as needed. That was not something I had the time or inclination to research on my own, before hiring my team.

Now, we have clients I have never met and leaders we are partnering with because of the efforts of the team. I now share the responsibility of growing the business and share the benefits that come with success. Twelve months into the new company and I know that I will never return to being a “solopreneur.” However, this realization hasn’t come without occasional bouts of angst—and heartburn.

Learning to let go seems to be something that we all struggle with at different times, whether as parents, leaders, or new managers. But when we micromanage and don't allow others to take the reins, we run the risk of stifling creativity and innovation and stamping out the independence and courage that enables a team to thrive. And worse, we run the risk of being labeled a “control freak”—not the reputation that many of us aspire to but have anyway.

How to know if you are a control freak?

The reasons—or excuses—for not delegating can be numerous. Think for a moment, have you ever been heard to say (or found yourself thinking) the following:

“It’s quicker if I do it myself.”“I’m simply role modeling how to do it so they know what to do next time.”“I can't let this project fail; it's business-critical. I need to be involved to protect my team.”“I am not telling them how to do it, just what they need to do. That way it will be done right first time.”“It's mundane stuff. I don't want to delegate small things otherwise my team will think I am dumping on them.” I have client organization where the CEOs must approve every requisition for a new hire. In another organization I work with, one senior leader approves all new laptop purchases. While these two leaders have good intentions, and maybe there were good reasons why these processes started, they most likely no longer apply. Instead, now these leaders simply slow down decisions.

Indeed, a leader’s inability to let go affects their organizations and teams of all sizes, from the start up to the Fortune 100 organization, from the new manager to the most experienced senior executive. The final unintended consequence is that these senior leaders are the role models that others emulate. When control is tightly maintained at the top of the company, leaders throughout the organization exhibit similar tendencies in their areas of focus. It's a cascade effect that helps no one.

How do you learn to let go?

As with any ingrained habit, letting go will take time and practice. Here are some tips to help you get underway:

Ask yourself :"Do I really need to be involved in this?" Back off if the answer is "I'm not sure" or "I don't think so."Assess the risk. Letting go doesn't mean that you have to step back completely, what is at risk if this project fails? Discuss with him your concerns and the potential warning signs.Assess the individual. When delegating work, take into account the experience and skills of the person to whom you are delegating. Has she made mistakes in the past? How can you build her confidence and your trust in her ability to deliver?Set clear expectations. Let him know when to escalate and involve you. Which decisions can he make, and which does he need to refer to you first.Involve your team. Let others know that you are trying to let go and get out of the weeds. Ask the team to tell you if you are getting in too deep and can let go. Don't allow the illusion of being in control prevent you from performing your most important task as a leader and manager: developing your employees. Build a team that can work independently and interdependently, where trust is explicit, and clear communication and accountability is understood by all. If you don’t let go, you not only will find yourself with a line of employees at your desk, dependent on you and your input, you will stifle your team's ability to grow and be competitive—and eat up your time to focus on organizational priorities.