Build relationships to help career

It is hard to imagine that my client - the confident, competent, smart, strong and impeccably dressed Debbie that I have known 15 years - felt invisible early on in her career.

But that's just how she and other black women in corporate America have felt - and still do at times.

It goes back to unflattering stereotypes and general perceptions that "make it easy to dismiss black women as unable to be power players," says Sophia A. Nelson in her book, "Black Woman Redefined."

Add that less than 1.2 percent of black females are executives in corporate America, and such women not only feel invisible, but to a third of the American workforce they truly are invisible, Nelson says.

For those who are present, it can be hard to be heard.

"I'd be in a meeting and give my opinion," Debbie says. "And it was totally discounted. My points weren't even acknowledged. One of my white counterparts could say verbatim what I said and the response was, 'Let's discuss that.' "

That's when she began to question herself: "Was it my tone? Did I present it in a manner that couldn't be heard? I was second guessing everything. It made me bitter."

It's understandable to point fingers and "get swallowed up in the long-standing workplace inequities" argument, says Nelson, who doesn't blame anyone for responding with anger or outrage.

But, she writes, "We must take stock of our professional battle scars and transform them into a powerful force for change," developing "built-to-last and nimble game plans focused on establishing meaningful relationships, strategic alliances and rock-solid career platforms."

One of the most important keys - and most lacking for black women executives and professionals, according to findings of a 2009 Executive Leadership Council study- is having "comfortable, trusted, and strategic relationships at the senior level with those who are most different from themselves, most notably white males."

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