As leaders, we need to disconnect to reconnect. This was one of the themes that emerged in the research for my forthcoming book Leading with Wisdom (ASTD, August 2013). The sages told me how we need to control technology and not let technology control us.

Email and texting can be a way to avoid talking directly with people. We are using Facebook to replace actual time in face-to-face conversations—and that is not proving to be effective in the workplace or in building meaningful relationships. Any time there are people involved, usually there are some difficult but crucial conversations that must take place.  This is true personally, as well.

Currently, there is a digital detox movement taking place, involving people of all ages. Several articles in the New York Times and elsewhere describe how people are seeking out opportunities to function without the use of technology. One article talked about Camp Grounded, which people attended to break their addiction to technology.  The rules of Camp Grounded are straightforward: 

• no phones, computers, tablets

• no watches

• no work talk

• no discussion of people’s ages

• no use of real names.

I read similar article in the Times titled, “Learning to Let Go,” and the focus was the same: helping people learn to live and lead without technology.  What I found particularly interesting about this article was how it was targeted at young professionals--people in their 20s. It described how they are craving for deeper relationships and more contemplative time for reflection. 

What I discovered in my research is that leaders need to get to know themselves at a much deeper level than what is usually the case.  And leaders need to make the time and effort to get to know the people who work with them and for them.

In Leading with Wisdom, I describe simple ways to do this. One of my favorites is called One-on-One.  It is similar to old-fashioned dating, which seems to have gone by the wayside also.  Make the time to meet with someone (for coffee or for lunch) with the sole purpose of looking them in the eye and getting to know them.

• Be curious. 

• Ask questions. 

• Care about the answers. 

Bottom line: How well can you function without technology? How well do you know yourself? How well do you know the people with whom you interact most often?

We all fall into habits—some are good and some are not so good. Indeed, I know from experience just how addictive our smart phones can be. I am blogging about this because I need to work on controlling technology and not letting technology control me.