In the last two weeks, I have had three engagements talking about my book, Leading with Wisdom. People have asked some good questions. One question people frequently asked was if the book wass written for women leaders. 

First, I prefer not to put women leaders in a category. The definition of leader I use is: a leader is in a position to influence the lives of others—both positively and negatively. This definition includes coaches, pastors, teachers, parents, managers, bosses, and so forth.

Leadership is a relationship

If you read Leading with Wisdom and did not know the 100+ people I interviewed, you might assume I interviewed all, or primarily, women. I say this because the themes that emerged from the data focus on the “soft skills” or interpersonal skills, which often are associated with women. 

But the idea that soft skills are more prevalent in female leaders is changing with the increased emphasis on leaders developing their social and emotional intelligence, which includes a focus on self-awareness and empathy. I advocate that all leaders need to pay attention to these “soft skills” because leadership is not a position or title. I believe that leadership is a relationship.

This reminds me of a course I took in college titled: Women’s Liberation. Yes, it was the 1970s and I had the bad hairstyle and the weird-looking 70s clothes just like they illustrated in the sitcom That 70s Show. After my research, I titled my final paper for that course “Women’s Liberation = Human Liberation.” My premise was that by “freeing” women, we were ultimately “freeing” men. As women had more choices at work, men had more choices at home. Men did not have to have the burden of being the bread winner, and women did not have to be the primary parent.

Userpage icon for supporting gender equality. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am proud of that paper because in 2013 I am currently on a taskforce studying how to design organizations based on gender equity. Here is our purpose statement and tagline that has evolved after a year of research and intense conversations:

• Purpose Statement #1: To create opportunities for women to take leadership roles in the workplace

• Purpose Statement #2: To create opportunities for men to take nurturing roles in the home–in order for individuals and companies to reach their greatest potential

• Tagline: Equal opportunities to lead + equal opportunities to nurture = better outcomes for all

What I advocate in my book is that leaders should demonstrate humanistic leadership qualities. We should be creating places where people want to work. I am on a mission to eliminate toxic workplaces. I know I don’t want to “lean into” an unhealthy and toxic workplace. And leaders set the tone. As I have said before, people join companies, but they leave bad bosses.

While this sounds just like trying to create “peace on earth,” it is a vision and reason that gets me up in the morning.

What do you think? What gets you up in the morning?