Repairing Relationships, Restoring Mental Health: A Guide for Learning and Development Professionals

Workplace conflicts are more than inconvenient disruptions; they are significant drains on mental well-being, leading to heightened stress, reduced job satisfaction, and a decline in overall health. For learning and development (L&D) professionals, understanding the link between workplace relationships and mental health is crucial. By equipping managers and employees with the skills to repair and strengthen these relationships, L&D professionals can enhance workplace well-being.

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines mental well-being as “a person’s emotional and psychological state of overall health and happiness, encompassing resilience, positive emotions, and effective coping with life’s challenges” (Sandy Stansfield, ICF Director of Member and Industry Research). This definition emphasizes the importance of emotional and psychological health, not just physical well-being.

Workplace conflicts are a common source of distress, often leading to anxiety and stress. According to a 2022 Conflict at Work report by Myers-Briggs, employees spend an average of 4.34 hours per week dealing with conflicts. These unresolved conflicts lower job satisfaction and increase stress levels, affecting mental well-being.

The root cause of most workplace conflicts is a breakdown in relationships—specifically, a failure in emotional connection. When employees feel disconnected from colleagues or managers, their sense of security is compromised, triggering negative emotional responses. Neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp shows that during moments of disconnection, the brain’s emotional center hijacks the prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational thinking and social interactions. This “hijacking” shifts the brain’s focus from team-oriented thinking to self-preservation, making it difficult for individuals to be supportive, empathetic, and collaborative.

This cycle of disconnection often leads to further conflict. Employees may either aggressively pursue reconnection through complaints and criticisms or preserve themselves by withdrawing and avoiding interaction. Both responses worsen the disconnection, leading to more significant conflicts that are harder to resolve.

As L&D professionals, it’s vital to understand that work relationships are not just professional interactions; they are attachment bonds. This concept, rooted in John Bowlby’s attachment theory, explains that the emotional bonds we form with others in the workplace are essential for our well-being. Employees with secure attachments are more resilient, better at forming strong bonds, and are generally seen as valuable members of the organization. In contrast, those with insecure attachments are more prone to anxiety, stress, and conflict, disrupting their emotional balance and increasing workplace tension.

The key to breaking this cycle of conflict is teaching managers and employees how to repair these bonds. When moments of disconnection are addressed and repaired, relationships are restored, leading to greater security, stability, and mental well-being.

Repairing relationships in the workplace requires awareness, intention, and practice. Here’s how L&D professionals can guide managers and employees through this process:

Recognize the Negative Cycles: Help individuals identify the negative patterns that emerge during conflicts. This involves slowing down and becoming aware of the emotional triggers and responses that fuel these cycles.

Reach Out and Reconnect: Encourage individuals to reach out and reconnect on a human level. This can be challenging but is essential for repairing the relationship. Facilitating open and honest communication is crucial.

Practice Emotional Responsiveness: Encourage managers and employees to be emotionally responsive to one another. This means being attuned to each other’s needs, showing empathy, and offering support. Over time, these practices can transform workplace relationships, making them more resilient and secure.

When managers and employees learn to repair their relationships, the benefits extend beyond conflict resolution. Secure relationships create a supportive and safe work environment where employees feel valued and understood. This sense of security enhances mental well-being, fosters resilience, and promotes personal growth.

Research by Brooke Feeney at Carnegie Mellon University shows that teams with strong emotional connections are more engaged, cooperative, and creative. They also have higher job satisfaction and are more likely to stay with their organizations long-term. Clients and customers benefit from the positive culture created by secure workplace relationships, leading to higher satisfaction and loyalty.

As L&D professionals, you have a unique opportunity to affect the mental health of your organization by focusing on relationship repair and emotional connection. By training managers and employees to recognize and address disconnection, you can help create a work environment that supports mental well-being, reduces conflict, and enhances overall job satisfaction.

In today’s fast-paced and often stressful work environments, the ability to repair relationships is essential for maintaining mental health and building resilient teams. By making emotional connection a core component of your L&D strategy, you can help your organization thrive in an increasingly complex world.