Whether it’s a raise, more vacation time, or training you need to be more effective in your role, asking for what you need at work is difficult. Managing your professional life, though, is like managing a relationship. Consider relationship researcher John Gottman’s so-called magic ratio of five to one. Simply put, for a relationship to work, there needs to be five positive interactions for every negative one. Your balance of positive to negative moments should be in line before making your request. And to that point, it's important that your ask comes off as a request rather than a demand. Instead of telling your boss you’re taking a four-day weekend, consider how you’re framing it. “I would like to take a four-day weekend next month. I have the vacation time, but I want to make sure that it works with the rest of the team’s schedule. What do you think?” is more effective than more prescriptive alternatives. If the answer to your request is “no,” consider getting curious about it. “No” might mean not right now; it might mean you need to tweak your request, or it could mean that you’re not asking the right question altogether.