In training settings, people often share stories that cross back and forth over a blurry line of truthfulness. In fact, sometimes these stories can feel downright manipulative. This is one of the great criticisms and negative perceptions often held about stories - especially pertaining to their use in organizational settings.

One of my recent webinar attendees emailed me afterwards to ask about the plausibility of shared stories, which got me thinking more deeply about the topic.

Stories can function as weapons. There are countless examples of how people abuse the power of tapping into the emotions and imaginations of others to coercively manipulate their constructs of reality. Clear violators, such as con artists, are easy to classify. However, the question is not a black or white one, or as Mark Twain wrote, "Sometimes you have to lie a little bit to tell the truth."

By their nature, stories are fluid. They overlap memories with the context of the moment. I find stories in collages and clusters to be more truthful than pinning the entirety of a message on a single story.

All of the greatest stories are vast universes with an orbit of small story fragments. The depth and veracity of stories are more easily perceived when scanning the pattern and intention of stories in proximity with one another. I am naturally distrustful of single, isolated, large, and perfect stories with clean beginnings, middles, and ends, as well as unmistakable story arcs. In many instances, these stories have already been altered to suit a particular message.

Stories are creative acts, and I view them as stages on which themes, drama, and meanings emerge in a process of co-creation. The narrative is just one part. The decoding and collaborative space generated by telling a story to trigger the stories of others is sacred. My experience has been that when this space opens up, storytelling and listening are authentic, deep, and responsive to the needs of the moment. The space falls apart when listening ceases and any one person returns to advancing a singular agenda.

Stories told in the moment will adapt themselves to the language, vocabulary, and experience of listeners. It is a mark of an integrated storyteller to share in a way that fits the audience. If that means elaborating upon an aspect of the story or coloring it with a nuance of detail previously untold or which stretches the factuality, then I do not view this as either coercive or manipulative.

Asking people to become aware of their intentions is a marvelous starting point. Stories allow us to imagine paradoxes and contradictions. So I feel that if we become wrapped up in equating honesty and integrity with authenticity, we miss the richness of what stories have to offer us.

I'd love to hear readers' thoughts on this issue. Feel free to contact me at [email protected].