Michael Arad, the designer of the 9/11 memorial in New York City, had several ideas for memorializing the names of the 2,977 people killed on that fateful day. He could have simply arranged them alphabetically somewhere in the memorial, but that is transactional. Instead, he used a process that he calls "meaningful adjacency." Arad and his team decided to interview the family and friends of all the victims and ask them: "Are there names of other victims whom you would like to see placed next to the person you lost?" That way, there would be a reason one name appeared next to another. After Arad's team received 1,200 requests, he placed every victim's name in a manner that connected them, thereby memorializing that bond via a chain 2,977 links strong. That kind of connection changes lives; it is transformational.

You may be asking yourself, "What does that have to do with talent development?" As TD professionals, we strive to connect with learners in everything we do by, for example, using adult learning theories and experiential learning activities. However, sometimes those strategies are short-lived, which affects us as much as our learners.

Transactional vs. transformational

Transactional connections are fundamentally an exchange-based interaction. They operate on a quid pro quo basis, where each party engages and expects something in return. That type of connection is often driven by short-term goals and immediate needs, with the primary focus being on the outcome of the transaction. The relationship is often limited to the duration and scope of the transaction, with minimal emotional involvement or long-term commitment.

Transactional connections are efficient and practical. They enable people to fulfill their needs and objectives with clarity and purpose. However, they can lack depth and emotional resonance. While transactional connections are essential in many aspects of people's lives, overreliance on them can lead to a sense of isolation and superficiality, as people neglect the deeper, more meaningful aspects of human connection.

In contrast, transformational connections are characterized by their depth, emotional engagement, and potential for long-term impact. Those connections go beyond mere exchanges, and people build them based on mutual trust, respect, and a genuine interest in one another's growth and well-being. You will find transformational relationships in close friendships, mentorships, and supportive professional partnerships. They are marked by a willingness to invest time, energy, and emotion, fostering an environment where both parties can evolve and flourish.

Transformational connections are dynamic and nurturing. They encourage vulnerability, open communication, and a shared vision for the future. Such relationships have the power to inspire significant personal and professional growth because they provide a safe space for exploring new ideas, facing challenges, and celebrating successes together. Unlike transactional connections, transformational relationships are not limited by immediate goals or outcomes; they thrive on the journey of continuous development and mutual support.

In essence, while transactional connections are necessary for efficiently achieving specific objectives, transformational connections enrich people's lives with depth, meaning, and lasting impact.

For example, a few years ago, I went through an extended period where the impact of my learning events wasn't as significant as I wanted. Frustrated with myself, I decided to take some time off at the beach. While there, I stopped by a store to buy sunblock. In an attempt to connect with the worker behind the counter, I said, "What a blessing it is to be able to work at a place where you can hear the sounds of waves crashing and bask in the beautiful sun." She replied, "I don't even pay attention. I'm just going through the motions. Transaction after transaction."

I began to reflect on my interaction with her, and then it hit me: I too was going through the motions. My learning events were transactional, and they needed to be transformational. So, that day, while sitting on the beach, I created the four-part transformative connection framework that comprises the vehicle, the why, the inclusion engine, and the empowerment action. The framework creates meaningful opportunities for facilitators to connect with learners in a new way.

The vehicle

What is your vehicle for connection? I'm not talking about the vehicle you take to travel from point A to B. Rather, I am referring to the method or strategy you can use to connect in a deeper, more meaningful way.

For example, music is my life. It brings me joy, and I have studied it for many years. As such, I use music as my vehicle to connect with others. When I facilitate training events, whether they are in person or virtual, I email participants beforehand to ask them what their favorite songs are. I use their responses to create a playlist for breaks and lunches. Doing so provides learners with an automatic connection to the event they are attending, laying the groundwork for the start of a meaningful connection.

Think about what you are passionate about or enjoy doing for fun. For instance, a close friend of mine loves to spend her vacations on the beach, but not for the reason you would think. She loves to pick up trash off the beach during the entire trip and leave it cleaner than when she arrived. When she starts explaining that to a stranger, the conversations often last a long time, forming an instant connection from a transformative place, not a transactional one.

Other possible vehicles could be reading books, painting art, or spending time with family. Those are examples of topics that some people could talk about extensively to anyone. Think about what you love and how it could be a vehicle for transformative connection.

The why

Malcom Knowles's first principle of andragogy, the need to know, illustrates how important the why is to anything that adults do. Time and energy are adults' two most limited resources, so your learners must know that they are using such precious resources on worthwhile events. The phrase "What's in it for me?" translates to the motivation that someone gets from an interaction or event. In the transformative connections framework, I modified the phrase to: What's in it for us? In other words, how can we connect in a way that forges a why that will have long-lasting, meaningful impact?

To execute that in practice, the first thing I do in almost all my learning events is to allow participants space to share their why—because adult learners like to be seen and heard. I facilitate an activity I like to call "Tell Me Why" for which I sing the popular line from the Backstreet Boys' hit song, "I Want It That Way." (That's another example of me using my vehicle of music to connect with learners.) During the activity, I ask learners to write their why for attending the training program on a sticky note and place it on a wall chart of the learning objective from the day's session. When I facilitate virtual sessions, I create a slide with the objectives listed and ask the learners to annotate their initials on the items that provide motivation for their participation in the learning event.

I then debrief with the group, inviting attendees to share any contextual information for why a specific objective resonated with them. True to the "What's in it for us?" concept, I also share my why; a transformational why is not just for learners.

The activity enables everyone to see others' reasons for attending. It also adds a layer of psychological safety that helps learners realize that they are not alone in terms of some of the challenges they face on their development journey. As an added benefit, the activity enables me to gain some information on certain topics that may be an area of priority for the participants.

The inclusion engine

Inclusion means many different things to different people. In the transformative connection framework, I focus on the ability to foster a connection in which each person feels valued. The fundamental idea is that the more that people can be themselves, the more they can bring to any situation. The goal is to create freedom from fear and anxiety and adopt the concept of "we belong," not just "you belong." Inclusion is not about what happens in one moment but what happens every minute of every day.

Therefore, how can we make the people with whom we interact and connect feel included? How can we begin to understand different perspectives, change our mindsets, and consider how we belong? We should be the engine that drives that inclusion, not the anchor that makes it slower.

One way that I use the inclusion engine strategy in my everyday conversations relates to the idea of Giver's Gain, which is a philosophy created by Ivan Misner, the founder of Business Network International. It states that "If I give to you, then you will be motivated to give to me."

If you begin to invest a Giver's Gain philosophy in everything you do, then you will begin to forge more transformational connections. So, what will you do differently in your next interaction to be an inclusive engine?

As an inclusion engine during in-person events, I approach each learner upon their arrival, introduce myself, and ask them to take their name tent and choose from a variety of colored markers to decorate it to their heart's content. I also ask them to write an adjective or adverb that describes how they are feeling that day that starts with the same letter as their first name, and then their first name after it. For example, "Really Excited Rusty."

In a virtual setting, I ask all learners as they enter the room to rename themselves in the platform using the same parameters as above, but instead of having them decorate a name tent, I invite them to google an image that matches the adjective or adverb they chose and share it with the group as a virtual background. I also send prework via the learning platform, asking attendees to introduce themselves and share one thing they are looking forward to learning more about during the training program.

The feedback I receive from that allowance of self-expression makes all the difference in the world. That is the inclusion engine at work. The time investment up front will pay off in dividends from that moment on.

The empowerment action

Empowerment, perhaps the cornerstone of personal and societal transformation, is intrinsically linked to the concept of transformative connection. Empowerment involves equipping individuals with the tools, confidence, and autonomy necessary to make decisions and take actions that shape their lives and communities. Transformative empowerment pushes people to tap into collective wisdom and resources, amplifying their impact. That sense of belonging and support is crucial because it provides the emotional and psychological foundation necessary for individuals to step into their power.

In essence, empowerment through transformative connection uplifts human beings and fortifies the social fabric, paving the way for a more inclusive and resilient society. As learning events begin to wrap up, have a conversation about everyone's action plans post-training—including your own action plan to continue to support the learners from a long-lasting, transformational place of connection.

Amazing connections

When I returned from the beach, I piloted the transformative connection framework during my next learning event. The difference it made stunned me. I received feedback on how much the learners loved hearing their music and made them feel like they were in a comfortable workspace.

As we continued through the event, I planned activities for them to share their whys with one another. Then, I wrote my why on a wall chart and then asked them to post theirs with mine. During breaks, I watched as many learners read everyone's why—some even drew smiley faces on others' notes.

As the program continued, learners shared their thoughts or stories about themselves that I then included in conversations and delivery of new content as well as in activity scenarios. I noticed that learners would perk up and engage more when I mentioned their connection. By the end of the event, the participants were united in a way that would make you believe they had been together for years—even though they had only met that morning.

Throughout the program, I provided as many resources, tools, and strategies as possible to set up attendees for success. In the subsequent 30, 60, and 90 days, I received messages from learners about what they were doing and how they had applied their learning. That is empowerment. For the next year, I integrated the framework in all my events, no matter the context, and my feedback scores exponentially improved.

The simple strategies from the transformative connection framework encourage facilitators to be transformational, as opposed to transactional. As author and poet Maya Angelou said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."