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Stephen Covey

A proactive approach is a logical extension of some evaluation systems. Talent development professionals can do this by implementing five straightforward steps.

Make Your Evaluation System Proactive

Despite soft skills’ importance, many still struggle with them. Daniel White outlines the five most common soft skills gaps and how you can overcome them.

Top 5 Soft Skills Gaps and How to Overcome Them

Rare is the workplace where you don’t have one or more sensitive coworkers. The reasons for such sensitivity are endless, and some are even valid, but when such sensitivity is combined with emotional displays, they can especially be a challenge! Such reactions are one of the main reasons people don’t hold others accountable. As we discuss how to work with sensitive, emotional employees, there are two questions I want to address: Why do people get defensive? What can you do? When I teach or coach leaders, I find that many of them believe that employees get defensive because they simply don’t want to hear “the truth.” As far as the manager is concerned, the employee got caught in their mistake and their guilt is driving them to emotion. So, their response sometimes is to get tough and say unhelpful things like, “Let’s not get emotional, let’s keep this professional,” or “No need to get defensive, let’s stay on topic.” While it may be true sometimes that people get emotional because they feel guilty, our experience suggests something else. When people get defensive, it’s because they don’t trust your intent. They’re leery that you either don’t respect them or don’t respect what they care about (shared goals). When one or both are lacking, or the other person perceives a lack of respect, you see a spike in emotional responses. See, our brains are always scanning our external environment for threats. The moment we perceive a threat, our fight-or-flight response is triggered. We react. Defensiveness is the attempt to restore safety in response to a perceived threat. And some employees may have been shut down, mistreated, or disregarded by previous bosses, contributing to extra sensitivity that needs to be considered. So, what do you do about it? You need to make it clear to the other person that you DO respect them and care about their goals. This can’t be accomplished with trite phrases when you’re in a bind. You’ve got to truly care. The way you treat them outside of crucial moments may do more for your Crucial Conversations than how you respond during them. I love what the late Stephen Covey said. “You can’t talk your way out of something you’ve acted your way into.” If you don’t show respect for their time, their work, or their unique personality, no amount of flowery language will ease their defensiveness. I think you could have a conversation with this person to address this dynamic between the two of you. You might begin, “Hey Gabriel, I’ve noticed a pattern between us that I want to talk about. When I bring up a concern about a commitment you didn’t complete, you often raise your voice or start crying. I’d like us to be able to talk about things in a way that allows both of us to feel heard and find a solution. But I’m wondering if I’ve done something—or not done something—that’s provoking your response. How do you see it?” That may not be a perfect opening statement, so adapt it to work for you. But please see the principle in the details. Be honest about the issue. Don’t let them off the hook because they get emotional. Show them you care AND address the issue. Ask how you can show you care. Keep talking. 

Working With Sensitive, Emotional Employees

Lori Ann Roth, Ph.D., CPTD, is the President of Learning and… Reflective Growth for Individuals and Teams. This company specializes in administering and interpreting self-assessments to facilitate trust building, playing to strengths and teamwork through training and coaching. Dr. Roth was the Director of Training and Organizational Development for the Human Resources & Payroll department at George Mason University for over 10 years. Her responsibilities included managing a talented staff and providing training and development for over 6000 University faculty and staff. She has an undergraduate degree in Psychology and Communication and a Master's degree in Adult Education from Michigan State University. She earned a doctorate from Virginia Polytechnic Institute in Human Development. The emphasis of her study consisted of adult learning and human resources management. She has worked for human resources departments, training corporations, hi-tech corporations, as an adjunct professor at University of Maryland University College and George Mason University’s School of Business. She was the president and owner of LARG Enterprises, Inc. (a training corporation) and specialized in Microsoft Certified Systems Engineering and Train the Trainer classes. Lori is certified in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the Pearman Personality Integrator, EQ-i (Emotional Intelligence), Gallup’s Strenghtsfinder 2.0, The 8 Dimensions of Leadership, DiSC, Crucial Conversations, and Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. She is a certified Retirement Coach and a skilled facilitator. She is very active in the Association of Talent Development (ATD) formerly American Society of Training Development (ASTD) at the national and local levels. Dr. Roth volunteers for ATD and has presented at the ATD International Conference and Exposition (ICE) for the last seven years on a variety of professional development topics. She is a pilot pioneer, earning her Certified Professional in Talent Development (CPTD), formerly CPLP, in 2006. She is also one of 11 people to have been awarded the CPLP Contributor Award from ATD. Presently, Lori volunteers as the CPLP Manager for the ATD Sun Coast Local Chapter in Florida. Her hobbies include cooking, weight lifting, hiking, reading and beaching.

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